Prayer requests
- Thread starter deewee
- Start date
I’m so sorry, I don’t think anyone is ready but eventually we all find ourselves facing that situation or something similar. Prayers for your mom, you, and your family. Enjoy each day you have with her, there’s really no telling how long is left. Something we realized as we watched my mother grow weaker and weaker is that the human body doesn’t give up that easily. It wants to survive and keep going. You’re a good daughter for giving the effort to provide care and assistance, I’m sure she would agree.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
Thank you.Sending prayers.
Thank you.
I know you said your dad went quick from what started as just a small medical need. I keep thinking what you said, and it seems so similar.
Thank you.
I am glad she made it through the night. My son's birthday is July 11th... I did not want her to die on his birthday.
As of the morning of the 11th, she seemed to have given up.
The staff has been diligent at getting her to drink water every hour. She is responding to their requests and she has answered a few questions, but then she goes straight back to sleep.
At first I thought maybe they gave her a narcotic. At one point the doctor was going to do that for the hip pain. I told him no, that we need her out of bed doing therapy, not drugged. No medicine has been given, but her body acts like it is drugged. She can't stay awake.
Sunday we did our usual video call with my son, DIL and the grand baby, (Her great grand daughter- who she just adores.)
We watched the grand play for 45 minutes. My mom calls the baby "our entertainer." Mom seemed tired, but was engaged. My son and I talked the most. A lot of that time mom just listened, but every so often she would comment or ask a question.
That is why the shock that Monday and now Tuesday she is no longer there... just asleep, and can't stay awake.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
I am sorry you have lost the parents you knew, as their mind betrays them. My grandma, (mom's mom) went through senility and the confusion as she lost recognition of all family except her oldest daughter. The rest of us, grandma could not understand who we were. Like you are feeling, we mourned the death of who grandma was, at least 5 years or so before she finally passed away. Their personality goes with the mind. It sucks. When she died it was a relief, then we felt guilty for feeling relief... God's timing is not always understood.
My brother said as tough as it is because it is so quick, it might be best for mom because we notice some senility, hard to tell if it is from being 85 or something more.
My brother is more pragmatic and said if she does go this quickly it is a blessing compared to many who languish with cancer or some other horrible pain, or even the senility. He marveled that she did not get cancer. My father smoked with her in every room for 34 years, even their bedroom while she slept.
Dad died of emphysema in 1995. My brother and I did not discus this until today, but we both have quietly feared that mom might get cancer or emphysema. We had a friend whose mom died of emphysema and never smoked a day in her life, but her husband, their dad, did.
As tough as this is, she is not sick... her body has just gone as far as it can.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
Thank you.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
I have to thank everyone for the prayers, I did not think she would make it through to today.
She is not doing too well. She is dehydrated again. She just won't/can't drink enough to stay hydrated. Today we are putting her with Hospice care. She is terrified any time she is moved thinking she will fall, yelling out for us to stop, even if we are just moving her to adjust her pillow as she is laying down in bed.. She says her whole body has pain. She is not going to get better without the ability to drink.
They started IV's again. BP is down to 85 /66, even after being on an IV for 2 days now and a pill to increase her blood pressure. She slept all of Monday and Tuesday. She could not even hold her eyes open. That is when they ran a blood panel and it showed that she is dehydrated again.
Eating went from regular food Friday and Saturday feeding herself, to ground up food with added moisture on Monday, to pureed food Wednesday.
The IV did help her to be awake again. I told my aunt to come see her, Wednesday, which she did. I called my brother and had her speak with him. She said she loved him, and he said I'll see you soon (he said he sort of meant more in heaven.) She said, "That would be nice I would like to see you soon too." My brother ended up texting me 20 minutes after he spoke to her that he was taking a red eye out of Hawaii to come see her one last time and help me.
Mom just got back from visiting him in Hawaii from June 6 to June 22. She traveled over there by herself. In a way it is surreal that she could go from that to bedridden, now unable to even hold a glass of water or feed herself, eating purred food in under a month. This is the most painful thing. To have her, hold her hand, knowing in a short time she will not be alive. I took off work Thursday and Friday.
My brother got in Thursday around 10 am. We met at the care facility. She was aware and awake, but very weak.
She did not have a will. She does not have much, but we did get a Last Will and Testament signed and notarized by a mobile notary so we won't have to go through probate. The notary arrived around 2:20 pm. She kept falling asleep as we showed her where to sign the will. It was touch and go whether we would get the three required signatures... and yet around 11 am when we showed her the Will, and read it with her, she was awake and said this was good because she did not have a Will. (It was supposed to be done a decade ago. My brother had set it up and thinks when she was told the cost she decided not to have it done.)
Her body is shutting down. Each day she is losing even more of her ability to use her muscles. I know it is best she passes, it just hurts like hell right now and I am profoundly sad.
ABTHREE
Stunt Driver
Prayers for you and your family.
Boss 302
Pursuit Driver
What she is going through sounds so much like what my father went through. My father passed away in his sleep.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
That would be great if she just went in her sleep peacefully like your dad.
We are witnessing her body just shutting down.
As sad as it will be for me, it would be best for her to pass sooner than later. To be honest I am tired of crying... anticipating her not being here for me to see and talk to just washes over me and I cry.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
Mom passed peacefully and without pain last night in her sleep at 11:40 PM.
It was actually sort of funny, my brother and I were trying to decide if we stay there with her longer, or go home and get some sleep and be back in the morning. We knew she was within 12 to 14 hours of passing. We had been there since the morning.
My brother said, " We could sit here and wait and when we stepped out to go pee she could pass, or we could stay here now, go home to sleep tomorrow afternoon and she might pass while we were gone. We should go get some sleep and be back in the morning."
He said let me use the restroom and we can head out. The room has a bathroom. I was sitting next to her doing work on my computer. The Hospice gal said her respiration would slow to about 4 breaths a minute, then she would just pass. She had been breathing about 10 to 12 a minute.
As he was in there I felt like mom had not taken a breath in a minute.
I stood up and felt her chest and did not see any breath. My brother walked out of the restroom and I said, "I think she took her last breath." He walked over and like me felt no pulse or breath. He just started laughing, and said, "See I stepped out to go to the bathroom and missed her passing! " Then we both started laughing so hard... mom got the last joke!
It has been a tough week, but it is finished. She is no longer in pain. It went quickly, much better than languishing.
It was actually sort of funny, my brother and I were trying to decide if we stay there with her longer, or go home and get some sleep and be back in the morning. We knew she was within 12 to 14 hours of passing. We had been there since the morning.
My brother said, " We could sit here and wait and when we stepped out to go pee she could pass, or we could stay here now, go home to sleep tomorrow afternoon and she might pass while we were gone. We should go get some sleep and be back in the morning."
He said let me use the restroom and we can head out. The room has a bathroom. I was sitting next to her doing work on my computer. The Hospice gal said her respiration would slow to about 4 breaths a minute, then she would just pass. She had been breathing about 10 to 12 a minute.
As he was in there I felt like mom had not taken a breath in a minute.
I stood up and felt her chest and did not see any breath. My brother walked out of the restroom and I said, "I think she took her last breath." He walked over and like me felt no pulse or breath. He just started laughing, and said, "See I stepped out to go to the bathroom and missed her passing! " Then we both started laughing so hard... mom got the last joke!
It has been a tough week, but it is finished. She is no longer in pain. It went quickly, much better than languishing.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
Thank you.So sorry for your loss. Losing parents is very hard.
The Sound Guy
Pursuit Driver
It is tough to lose a parent. It was like that with Dad, my brother had gone to my house to sleep, and I stayed, but dad suddenly started to breath slower. I called my brother but it was over before he could get back.
But Dad really wanted to go quickly, so I was relieved more than sad that he wouldn't have suffer any more. May you and your family have peace as you go through the process.
Far West
Pursuit Driver
It is tough to lose a parent. It was like that with Dad, my brother had gone to my house to sleep, and I stayed, but dad suddenly started to breath slower. I called my brother but it was over before he could get back.
May you and your family have peace as you go through the process.
Thank you.
Boss 302
Pursuit Driver
I'm sorry for your loss. It's difficult to lose a parent, especially the last one. I was a lot closer to my mother growing up than my father. Mom passed away first, and the loss was difficult. I found my dad's passing more difficult because he was the last one. He was also the last of all my aunts and uncles on both sides of the family. There's not a day that goes by without me missing them, but I rejoice they are together in Heaven.