Time to stop talking about my imaginary wife...

[Waski_the_Squirrel]

I often tell my students and friends about my wife (who lives in the basement, is photosensitive, extremely obese, and really mean). She makes a good scapegoat when I mess up. Some people even think she's real!

So, tonight, I'm headed to bed. My house is dark because light switches aren't located conveniently and the house has an odd floor"plan". It's actually made of 3 tiny old buildings, including a granary, so yeah...

Wham! I walked into the corner of the bathroom door. It was open to promote air circulation from the bedroom (odd floor plan, remember) and it sticks on the hump in the floor in the entry. So now the skin around my eye is starting to swell and I expect a black eye to develop.

So, blame it on the wife, admit I walked into a door, or make up an exciting story involving a midget and a briefcase full of diamonds?

 

[MacDaddy]

go with the story.

Don't forget the hidden door you never noticed before!

 

[Madea]

Oh, just blame it on the wife. It'll increase your mystique.

 

[Guard Dad]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

 

[ShoeDiva]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

Does he have malls there??

 

[Guard Dad]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

Does he have malls there??

Details, details...

He can change it to the Seed and Feed if needed.

 

[Guard Dad]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

Does he have malls there??

OK, we'll make it the shoe store.

Happy now?

 

[Blazing Saddles]

Just go with the usual stuff...........you know, Gilbert Grape's mom slapped you in the face with a ham bone. From the basement of course.

 

[Waski_the_Squirrel]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

Does he have malls there

The closest mall is 90 miles away in Dickinson. I haven't been in that mall in a year or two. There is just nothing there. I prefer shopping locally, though I suspect that you Atlanta folks would find my town to be pretty slim pickings. On the other hand, you might be like my father's friends. They came north from the Black Hills and started to run low on gas with night closing in. They were wondering if they would ever see civilization again. Running on fumes, they drove into my town and stayed the night in a motel. They told my parents this story when they got back from vacation expecting to elicit some sympathy at how remote this town was that they got stuck in overnight. Imagine their surprise when they discovered that my parents had visited that little town many times!

As for the black eye: no one has asked about it!

 

[naturegirl]

You need to work it.


You were at the mall and witnessed three large men attacking a defenseless young woman and her baby (baby for additional emotional effect). You quickly sprang into action, disabling the first man with a roundhouse kick, the second with a palm punch upward to the nose, and you took the third man down by sweeping his legs and hammering his face with your steely fist as he hit the floor.

In her panicked state, the woman lost her grip on her baby and in a diving leap you swooped it into the safety of your muscular arms just before it would have hit the floor.

The black eye came as your face made contact with the floor because your arms were protecting the baby from harm.

Does he have malls there

The closest mall is 90 miles away in Dickinson. I haven't been in that mall in a year or two. There is just nothing there. I prefer shopping locally, though I suspect that you Atlanta folks would find my town to be pretty slim pickings. On the other hand, you might be like my father's friends. They came north from the Black Hills and started to run low on gas with night closing in. They were wondering if they would ever see civilization again. Running on fumes, they drove into my town and stayed the night in a motel. They told my parents this story when they got back from vacation expecting to elicit some sympathy at how remote this town was that they got stuck in overnight. Imagine their surprise when they discovered that my parents had visited that little town many times!

As for the black eye: no one has asked about it!

No one has asked about it, I can only imagine the stories they are telling. I'd bet theirs are better than ours. :laugh