I've seen this too many times. Families torn apart and relationships ruined over picking the bones. I choose to walk away.
My father's cousin passed away suddenly, without a will at 70. My brother and I are his only relatives. Another family member from my mom's side said you should go to court as his heir.
He chose not to marry and have kids because he was diagnosed in the early 70's as Bi-Polar. Later, medicine allowed him to have a full and rewarding life and career. He was so smart and funny, a really great guy.
He had a "girlfriend" for 40 plus years. They both owned a home separate of each other from before they met each other. They did everything together as a couple, switching off who's house they stayed at. She is his rightful heir, even if it was not by a marriage certificate. They loved each other so much. It has been so hard on her no longer having him as her partner.
I was the one who had to sign the paperwork for the body to be picked up from the hospital, it was then that I realized how our society does punish you for not being married. They did not want kids because he did not want the mental illness, as he saw ,it to be passed on. Being married would have meant a marriage penalty tax (he was an accountant for large corporations.) They never married, but it does not diminish the fact she is his rightful heir even though they messed up by not putting a will together. Since the state they live in does not recognize common law spouse, she basically has no rights. She is not the rightful party to what they built together... but she is.
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