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A man walks into a bar, but the bartender throws him out for being too drunk.

The man walks back in the bar a few minutes later, and the bartender throws him out again. Once again the drunk walks into the same bar.

The bartender is just about to toss him out when the man looks at the bartender and asks,
"How many bars do you own, anyway?"
 
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment
The woman notices this and asks,
"Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,
"I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says,
"A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies,
"Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains,
"Damn thing must be an hour fast."
 
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in,
he realizes it's a gay bar but decides,
'what the heck, I really want a drink.'
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer,
'What's the name of your penis?'
The customer says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that.
All I want is a drink'. The gay waiter says,
'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis.
Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.'
That guy down at the end of the bar
calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies."
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give
him a second to think it over.
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks,
'Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?
' The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says,
'TIMEX.' The thirsty customer asks, 'Why Timex?'
The fella proudly replies,
'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!'
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping
on a fruity margarita.
'So, what do you call your penis?'
The man to
his right turns to him and proudly exclaims,
'FORD'
because quality is Job 1,' Then adds, 'Have you driven a Ford, lately?'
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he
comes up with a name for his penis.
He turns to the bartender and exclaims,
'The name of my penis is Secret.
' Now give me my beer.'
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks,
'Why secret?'
The customer says
.
.
.
.
.
.
'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!'
 
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