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Expert Driver

The Sound Guy

Pursuit Driver
Dear my non-American friends:

I know Thanksgiving's a little confusing, so l'Il try to
break it down for you. Today is the day we celebrate
the freeing of the United States from the reign of
terror of Lord Gobble, a 50-foot tall turkey/Sasquatch
hybrid who demanded human sacrifices every
November. In 1863, Abraham Lincoln rode his eagle-
gryphon into battle, singlehandedly slaying Lord
Gobble and freeing us from our blood oath to our
fearsome tyrant.

In celebration of this momentous victory, we consume the corpses of his descendants and parade our largest and most influential cartoon characters
through the streets of New York as a display of power, so that history will not repeat itself.

Hope that clears things up.